Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Fall Down 7 Times, Stand up 8!

That's what I'm trying to remind myself today.  It does not matter how many times we stumble as long as we do not stop.

I've been stumbling for years now.  It's been over 5 years since I started this blog about getting healthy.  I did get healthy, but it didn't last long.  That makes me sad, for sure.  But it is what it is and today we start anew.  Is today different?  I cannot say.  All I can do is keep trying.

1 slice Dave's Killer Good Seed Bread
1 TB peanut butter

Spaghetti with sauce
Grilled chicken



I'm thinking about blogging again.  I really enjoyed it while it lasted.  I notice there are still followers of this blog, but I don't know if that even means anything.  I need something to keep me accountable because I simply do not want to pay for Weight Watchers meetings just to stay accountable.  I am not a huge fan of their program anymore, although there is no doubt that it works when you work it.  It just feels so old school, so dated.  Many of the leaders have been there for years, having lost weight before there was even a Points system!  Does that make them less knowledgeable?  Probably not.  Less relatable? Oh yeah.

I'm 40 now.  So many things I wanted to make happen before I was 40, then 41...  Now I'm less than half a year away from 41 and while I don't think I'll achieve my ultimate goal, I can certainly strive for the first one: ONEDERLAND.

Onederland or bust.  Join me?

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


I never thought I could be so happy to receive a lame keychain, but there I was, standing at the scale crossing my fingers. And I did it! 10% exactly and a 3.6 pound loss for the week. Yay!!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Still here, still planning to blog!!

I am finally in a place where I think I can contribute to this blog again.  I would be grateful if some of you stuck around to watch me come back to health after this past year of hell.  I'm still upset about the photos on this blog and I'm not sure what I'll do about it yet.  I don't know if I should just leave as is, remove the error messages, or reupload the photos.  Thinking about it.

To update you, I placed second in my Biggest Loser Contest and won myself $110!  I feel proud of my accomplishment and had it not been for someone's extreme measures in the final weeks, I would have taken first place.  I feel like I actually won anyway.  That's the thing about weight loss contests that I feel strongly about.  It's not about extremes, like laxatives or starving yourself, it's about changing your habits and finding something that works. I did what I did and I was consistent.  By the end of the contest, I lost 20 lbs exactly.  The contest was from Jan. 7 to April 1.  I feel good about that!

But now comes the part 2 when I have to find something else to motivate me.  For the time being, I have decided to attend Weight Watchers meetings on Monday evenings right after work.  It's right on my way home so should be easy to fit in.  It also might have more people I would consider peers than the ol' bitties who attend the prior meeting I tried out.  I am actually looking forward to attending.  Yesterday was the first one I went to and it was a relatively new male leader.  I'm fine with a man in the meeting, some of the women wouldn't weigh with him which I found ridiculous!  But this guy's overall leadership was not that great and I was glad to find out he is only filling in for the regular leader.  He'll be there another week so I commit to attending these meetings until the regular leader returns and I get to know her a little.  It is important to me that the leader is someone relatable and current (read: near my age).  Some of the leaders I've met lost their weight like 20 years ago and that's find for them, but I find it very hard to relate to someone who's way out of my age bracket and lost weight on a totally different program than exists today.  Call me picky!

The theme for the week was to make a change to get active over the next several weeks and earn stickers and have chances to win prizes.  Blah, blah, blah.  All I know is, it's accountability.  So even though I haven't done a lick of exercise yet, I committed to 2x a week on my treadmill.  Starting this week.  Like before the next meeting on Monday.  Like get off the damn couch and get to the treadmill.  I will start with walking.  I want to move up to running again, I really do, but for now I'm going to be content with walking.

So anyway, there's my update.  Oh, and WW has me down 18 pounds which is a difference caused by nude weigh ins first thing in the morning versus weighing in after work (fully clothed) versus going on vacation for a week and possibly not following plan.  I'm okay with a 2 lb discrepency between their scale and my home scale.  I look forward to knocking it out of the park this week and hopefully earning my 10% keychain next week (3-4 lbs).  Gosh darn, I will use that thing!

I hope everyone is doing well.  As always, thank you for supporting me.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Blog Reboot?

I've been thinking about how I want to resurrect this blog, but I think the focus has to be changed.  Clearly this isn't a health and running blog anymore.  And I'm not sure I want it to be.  So I have been thinking a lot about just making this blog about me.  Musings, rants, celebrations and more.

Unfortunately, I am not sure what happened, but it appears that the pictures in my blog have issues.  They are missing. It might have to do with the fact that I changed the ownership and email address of this blog; maybe that ruins the pictures.  I don't know, but I'm quite disappointed.  I don't know what to do.  I'm not very techie or knowledgable when it comes to these things.

In light of this problem, maybe it's just time to abandon this blog and begin anew, or maybe I should just abandon blogging altogether.  I don't know.  I'm asking myself what it's for, is it necessary?  Does it make me happy?  Those are questions for many things. 

Should I do it? 
Does it make me happy?

I'll ponder this.

Friday, March 8, 2013

200.0 2.0

Hi guys!  Long time no post!  But no apologies here, we do what we can do.

But guess what?!  I've lost weight!!  Monday, I weighed in at 200.0!  Strange to feel excited about that number, but it represents a loss of over 15 lbs since January 8 when I strongly recommitted to this health journey of mine.  I feel in control for the first time in quite a long time.

I haven't started exercising yet, but I've thought about it a whole lot.  Doesn't that count?  I want to do it, I just can't get motivated enough to do it.  I'm still in the bad place which makes doing pretty much anything really, really hard.  My mood goes up and down and lately it's been down.  I know it's the time of year so I'm trying not to get too down (pun intended) on myself, but I want to just snap my fingers and be HAPPY!  Is that too much to ask?!  And it's not that I'm not happy, it's that I'm kinda just...flat.  Lately, the anxiety is really getting to me, though.

I have been trying to focus on other things besides health.  Little things, silly things, things that make me happy even though they are quite materialistic.  I know happiness cannot be found in things, but sometimes things do make life a bit better.  Brighter even.

I leave you tonight with a picture of one of my latest bright and fun things, my ultraviolet Coach purse and wallet, a Christmas present from me and my mom to me. :)

Thursday, December 27, 2012

New Year Approaching

I usually try not to make resolutions because they frequently fall by the wayside after about a week. But this year I definitely need to make some changes. Will these be resolutions? Regardless, the new year is approaching and there is no better time for a fresh start.

Tucker seems to not be worried about it.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

It's an update.

In a recent post I mentioned that I had rejoined Weight Watchers online.  I tried to stick with it, I really did.  But I didn't.  Two weeks ago tomorrow, I rejoined Weight Watchers meetings.  And I've stuck with it.  Tomorrow is my two week weigh in and I'm excited!!  I missed the first weigh in because I had to work, but I will not miss it tomorrow.

These last two weeks haven't been easy, but they haven't been difficult either, or at least as difficult as it had been prior to that.  I have been staying on program, counting points, and actually feeling satisfied.

I truly believe that avoiding sugar plays a key role in my success.  In the weeks leading up to November 2nd, I was eating a lot of sugar.  Candy bars and Starbucks scones and drinks was where it came from mainly.  Since November 2nd I have had very little in the way of sugar.  I haven't even been eating my beloved Chobani which has natural fruit sugar only.  I have been eating fresh fruit, but my cravings for all things bad for me has decreased significantly.  That's not to say I'm going to be cutting out sugar completely forever, but for right now until I get my head back on straight, I think it's best to avoid it.  I do believe that eating fruit is okay and other things that have some sugars occuring naturally, but I am avoiding added sugars as much as I can.

So what have I been eating?  Well, that's changed too.  I have switched from my usual an English muffin with peanut butter and banana to oatmeal with peanut butter and banana, or 2 hard boiled eggs.  I have been eating a lot of salad with chicken and sometimes a little cheese.  Eggs, string cheese, apples, clementines and healthy soups with lots of veggies: these are what's on the menu.

I have given myself a break on the exercise, a break from worrying about it at the moment.  But since things have been going well for a couple weeks, I need to think about adding some activity.  I'll get there.

So tomorrow, I will weigh in and will hopefully post an update on the weight loss front.  I'm sure that I will becauseI can feel the difference in my clothes.  In fact, I had to actually use a binder clip to keep my pants up by connecting them to my tank top when I walked over to the store at lunch!  Guess, it's time to bring out the belt.  I don't have any idea what the number will be, though, because I've put away my home scale for now.  No good comes of weighing each day right now so I'm avoiding that.

Anyway, if you've stuck with me through this journey, I am grateful.  I'm here to tell you that right now I'm feeling good.  My head feel clearer, the sadness is lifting, and I'm looking forward to the holidays.  February and March are very difficult months for me usually so I'm hoping to get into good routines before then so that feeling good physically will help me feel good mentally.


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I couldn't do it!

I received a final email about my blog domain registration expiration and I just couldn't let it go!  So remains.  I cannot give up!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I did something stupid yesterday?

Yes, that's a question because I'm still not sure if it was smart or stupid.  I'm leaning towards stupid.

So, all last week, as I tried to eat less and count calories, I was thinking about Weight Watchers.  Yes, it has its faults, but overall it's a sound plan which has been there for me in the past.  It works if you work it (although I'm still not sure that's true for the PointsPlus plan) and it gives you accountability, even if you're only participating online.  I made a to-do list for the week and on it I included the item "Decide if you're joining WW or not!".  I thought about it a lot during the week and over the weekend.  By Sunday night I had pretty much decided, yes, I'm joining.  I had yesterday off and so one of the things I did in the morning was sign up for Weight Watchers Online.  I chose the 3-month savings plan for the low low price of $65.  I felt ready, I felt committed.  Here we go!

Long about 7:30 last night I was wondering WTH I was thinking!  Weight Watchers?  Really?  Again?  Been there, done that!  I celebrated this thought process by indulging in some honey roasted peanuts.  As with anything I have purchased or bought in my life, I assumed Weight Watchers would give me 3 days to really make up my mind or change my mind, as the case may be.  Right before bed, I sat down to cancel my membship and I couldn't see any other option than to do so at the end of the billing period.  Well, I just joined, I thought.  I can cancel and get a refund, it's been less than 12 hours for crying out loud!  So I sent off a pleasant email that I had changed my mind about membership so please cancel and issue a refund.

I was surprised to see that I had an email response from them already when I got up this morning.  I was also surprised by its contents.  It was quite lengthy, but the gist of it was: We'll be happy to cancel your account and keep your money. 

I am quite irritated by this!  Basically my membership can be cancelled at the end of the first prepaid month and out of my $65 payment, I will receive a refund of $16.10.  Yes, $16.10 out of $65!  What irritates me the most is myself, of course.  I read (skimmed) all the disclosures, but I felt like I was committed.  Then later when I felt less committed, I thought for sure I would have 3 days to cancel and get a refund.  When you buy a car, you have 3 days to change your mind!  When you join a gym, you have 3 days to cancel and get a refund.  But apparently, once you sign up for 3 months of WW Online, you're in for at least a month and $48.90!  I'm so stupid!  Aren't I?

I told my coworker my story this morning and she was like, well, I guess you have to use it!  And, she's right, I suppose.  I can't just let $50 go by the wayside.  And since I have until mid-November to cancel for the same amount of refund, I might as well just give it a go and try my hardest to lose some weight! But ugh, it's frustrating because I'm really not committed to using this plan anymore.  And now that they've irritated the heck out of me, I feel much less interested.  But it's my own fault so I must reap what I sow.  And if the consequence is weight loss, then so be it.  :)

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

1,000 Days

I meant to post yesterday, but I'm a day late.  Yesterday was 1,000 days since I started this journey.  No, I haven't been counting, but when I logged my weight on my iPhone app, there it was: 

"Lost 27.0 lbs. in 1000 days"

What it didn't say was lost over 80 pounds and gained over 50 in 1000 days, but that's all I could think about.  1,000 days and I am a measly 27 pounds down from my starting weight.  It is better than being at my starting weight, and it's definitely better than being above my starting weight.  But it still sucks! 27 measly pounds!!!  When I was almost to 85!!!

Again, I sit here lamenting these facts, and I wonder to myself what good does it do?  Answer: none.  It never does any good to dwell on the things you cannot change.  I could have changed it, but I didn't, so now I cannot change it.  I have to accept it and move forward.

Yesterday, I had a good day.  I started the day planning to count calories, but ended up not logging everything.  As I've said before, I know what to eat.  I know exactly how much to eat.  Starting with breakfast and lunch, I tend to eat the same things day after day when I'm "dieting", but that works for me.  So I planned the meals and knew I was on track.  I admit, the evening almost took me down.  My son and husband were at soccer practice and when I got home, I wanted to EAT!  Instead, I made a salad and it tasted pretty good!

I've noticed lately that even foods I love don't taste good.  (Okay, Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins always taste good.)  Things like English muffins with peanut butter, Chobani yogurt, fruit....these things have just tasted blah lately.  I'm sure it's because I feel so incredibly gross. There's no other way to describe it.  I feel gross.  Yesterday, after not indulging in a bunch of junk food at the office all day, the salad for dinner tasted good.  And I know the healthy foods will only taste better if I continue my detox from sugar and junk food. 

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."  This needs to become my mantra, my motto, my mission statement.  It's one day at a time.  I'm not even focusing on exercise.  Right now, it's just an accomplishment to get through the day without binging on junk food.

But I still can't help remember that I thought I'd never be here again. :(

With all that said, I think I need a change to the blog name.  I've let the domain go, so now it's time to come up with something more fitting.  Perhaps I should go back to my original blog name "All About Me".