I am still here, still wanting to blog daily, but not actually doing it. I am continuing to work on healing my mind. I feel so much better than I did a couple of weeks ago, but there's still much progress to be made.
I cannot ignore the fact that I have a race coming up on May 6. It's a 12K and I am not sure what to do. I would just plan to skip it, except that I actually signed up as part of a team to participate, a team that includes my coworkers. That was back in February. I didn't feel well in February, but I was hoping that having the event scheduled would get me out the door for a run. It didn't work as I've hardly run in 2012 at all. Now I am faced with whether to bail on the team or just suck it up and do it. Last year I ran this race and even then I was excited about the next year's race. Now that the event is looming I know a PR is out of the question, running the entire distance is out of the question, and possibly even getting to the starting line is out of the question. I just don't think I can do it.
My confidence level is completely in the dumper, and I feel like if I do this race it will only hurt my efforts to regain it.
Of course, on the flip side, I could do this race and surprise myself. If only I could foresee the future...