Yes, I said it. I know, I know, it's not a diet, it's a life style change. But come on, it is a diet. Whether I'm counting Points, or calories, or servings, or whatever, it's feels like a diet and a diet feels restrictive! And I swear, if it's restricted, I WANT it! Of course I can eat whatever I want IF I count it, but everyone knows that eating Cheez Its or some other wonderful snack food isn't the best use of calories/Points/servings/whatever.
So for the time being I'm going to quit counting. I know HOW to eat, I know WHAT to eat, and I know HOW MUCH to eat. Some people think the key to weight loss is tracking your food. This has been hammered into my head for years by Weight Watchers. But sometimes I think tracking makes things harder, puts more focus on what you're eating (or not eating) and just all around makes your life revolve around food. I posted about this while back when I was getting to know Paul McKenna so this is not a novel or new concept for me. I tried awhile back to toss the food journal, but then I changed my mind and decided that Weight Watchers was the only way I could lose weight. Sometimes I think WW is a crutch for me. But what if it wasn't? What if I could do this on my own just by eating less? What if I never tracked another thing except my hunger level? Because lately I'm so sick of counting! I don't know. My thoughts on this subject change from day to day, even from morning to night. It's a cycle of desperation and self doubt is what it is.
This week I am focusing on staying on program for four days. "On program" means not eating chocolate candy bars, not having sugary-fatty drinks from Starbucks, and no salty-bad-for-you snacks like Cheez Its. If I can stick to this for four days, then on Thursday night I'm going to see The Lucky One as a reward. Four days. That might sound like hardly any time at all, but I nearly caved last night. I actually went to the pantry, grabbed the box of Cheez Its and settled back on the couch (while watching The Biggest Loser, of course). I opened the box slowly, contemplating the whole time about whether I really wanted to eat those things, and in the end I closed the box and put it away without having any. VICTORY! It's small, but I made it through. So two of the four days done.
What happens after the four days? Well, more days, of course. At least I hope so.