Thursday, March 1, 2012

Down, but not out.

This post is indeed from 3/1/12.  I did not publish it because I wanted there to be a true change before I posted all my troubles.  Stay tuned for an update (4/2/12)...

If you've read my About Me page or followed me for awhile, you know that I struggle with anxiety and depression.  Well...greetings from the bad place, where we gain weight and quit running!  :-(

I've been working at getting my head on straight, unfortunately I'm struggling.  I have gained weight, I haven't run hardly at all, and I certainly haven't done any other activity.  I make a lot of plans and then I don't follow through.  All that just adds to the other things I'm dealing with and needless to say it's certainly not helping.  My mind needs the exercise yet I cannot seem to make my body get up and do it.  But you know what, THIS is my happy place, not an extension of the bad place!  I came here to drop a line and let you know where I'm at, but I don't plan to stick around and whine.  I don't want this blog tainted by all that.  Plus, it's a personal struggle that I don't feel like making public on this blog.  Maybe when I feel well again I will go into more detail.

For now, you can count me down, but not out.

On that note, tonight I went to Weight Watchers.  I actually went about a month ago and had a really good week right after that, but then it all went to crap again.  Tonight I weighed in at 185.8.  Yes, that is over 30 pounds higher than my lowest weight last year.  That is 40 pounds from my goal of 145.  Will this be the day where I start making strides?  I hope so.  I feel really good about it, but only time will tell.

Also this weekend, I did finally get in some exercise.  Friday I ran 3.1 on the treadmill, Saturday I walked for 35 minutes, and Sunday I ran 3.1 outside for the first time since November 8!  It was hard and I almost quit, but I did it!

All forward motion counts.