Sunday, May 15, 2011

Sunday Sobfest

There's no doubt about it, I have just had the most craptastic week on record.  I ate too much, I didn't track enough, and I feel awful, just terrible.  I did get in all my runs, but I didn't do any yoga.  I hate saying this because it was my first week of training, but it's true.  I went completely off the diet grid.

Now, I will say that my eating last week as compared to how I used to eat was fairly tame, but that's really of no comfort here.  I feel terrible right now, did I mention that?

I have had an unusual craving for salty things lately.  Chips, popcorn, roasted nuts.  Honestly I don't know what has gotten into me.  And it's kind of scaring me because everyday I get up and feel like it's a new start and I'll do better, and then by evening I've done something really stupid like eat an entire 8-serving bag of pita chips. Then I go to bed full of self loathing and hatred of my behavior.  I don't like it, not one little bit.

I have been asking myself what the problem is, what's the disconnect, why am I falling into these old patterns?  Unfortunately I haven't really come up with anything.

It is disheartening to know also that even though I'm still running, eating extra calories makes me gain weight.  I hope a lot of it is water.  If I can just get things under control, I know some of the weight will melt away.  This morning the scale read 159.8.  Who knows what it will be tomorrow. 

I am desperate enough to be considering joining Weight Watchers and attending meetings.  I am thinking a little change and extra accountability might be a good thing.  Or it might just be a waste of time and money.  I have been doing this on my own for months.  I want to succeed on my own.  I just need to get it together.

My husband still has not found employment and this week is our last week of unemployment payments.  There is some state money possibly, but nothing is for sure and the timeframe is not guaranteed.  In other words, we are now officially a one income family and we have some difficult choices to make.  This is stressing me out.  I am perhaps eating my way through the stress. 


  1. im rejoining WW myself. I start tomorrow with at work meetings. Whatever you choose, good luck!

  2. ((HUG)) Thinking of you...and sending positive vibes :)

  3. You are not alone. I am struggling as well. I do weight watchers online but haven't been following it (life got hectic) and now I am kicking myself in the but. I will sent positive thoughts.

  4. First of all, I hope that you and your husband will be ok and he will find a job soon!

    I also found that when I started a new training program or exercise routine, I ate more. Not because I was necessarily hungry, but I think because I was telling myself it was OK since I'd "run it off" with all those training runs or p90x workouts. Regardless of the reason, I have faith that you will figure it out.

  5. One of my favorite quotes for troubling times from the movie "Elizabethtown" - "All forward motion counts." ♥ WW might be a good idea - even if you've been doing well with food/exercise on your own, sometimes it helps to have more "real life" support, folks who aren't friends/family. Thinking of you! :)

  6. I wish you and your husband all the best. I know it's a difficult time. We are facing the same and it scares me to death. Hang in there. Don't eat your it! That's what we are here for. :)