I realized today that I've been missing something during my most recent runs. The fun has been missing. I've slipped over into thinking it's a chore, a task, something I need to check off my list. I've hated being sick because I keep feeling like I'm getting behind. My mileage for the month is low, my regret over it has been high.
I worked at home today (yay, for that) so I was able to get in a run outside. (Yesterday my back felt so much better and today was even more so!) I took advantage of being home and cut out for a run about 10:30. I had my iPod with Nike+ because I'm keeping track of all mileage, but I knew I would not be using it to check my pace during the run. I just went out to run my usual 5K loop without worrying about pace. I also knew that if my back started hurting more I would head home without regret. But luckily all went well and I was able to complete the entire loop with a decent pace even though I didn't care about it. It was only about the run today and that's what it should always be about!
Why do I forget how much better it is to not worry about anything but putting one foot in front of the other? It really doesn't matter how fast I am running or even how far. Sure, I still would like to run under 10 minute miles, but the pace I currently have is fine too. I'd also like to log 15 miles a week. But what if I don't? The world isn't gonna end, I know this. I just want to run to get/stay in shape and to have fun. I want to run without feeling like I'm dying, without feeling like my body is going to give out at any moment, and without feeling like I've failed EVER. Getting in a run is never failing. And missing a run or two (or ten) when you're sicker than snot isn't failing either. You just pick up where you left off and continue about your running business.
I'm back in business!