Friday, December 31, 2010

Thankful Thankful Thankful

I try to be a grateful person all year long, not just on Thanksgiving. I sometimes feel that if I start itemizing things and making lists of what I'm thankful for, I'll inevitably forget something that is really important.  It's kind of like the Oscar speech, you know?  In the rush to remember 100s of people who helped along the way, spouses get forgotten.  I'd hate to forget one of the most important things with all the itemization.  So instead, I just want to say I'm extremely grateful.  I love my family and friends and I am very lucky.  I am striving to live a life of gratitude and not take anything for granted.  That is what this year of change has been all about, to start fully living life instead of watching it pass by.  I'm thankful to have made these changes before it was too late.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Just Drink More Water

I actually love water.  I must have water near me at all times.  I cannot stand being thirsty.  I actually get a little anxious if I forget my water bottle.  When I hear about people having trouble getting enough water because they don't like it, I cannot relate.  I prefer water over anything else!  Even coffee.  And I love me some coffee!

I do drink a lot of coffee.  I can drink coffee from morning to night without issue, especially in winter.  I usually have coffee before a shower in the morning; thank goodness for the Keurig!  I can also drink coffee right up until bedtime and have no trouble sleeping (except for the inevitable peeing).  I just love coffee; good, strong, black coffee.  I'm pretty sure that drinking a gallon of coffee per day is not a good idea.  5 to 6 cups can't be that bad, though.  But by always having water near me, I tend to drink less coffee automatically.  And that's easier than just trying to drink less.  I also have a rule that I can have no Diet Coke, another drink I love, until I've had at least 64 ounces of water.  My coworkers think I'm strange.

Some people say drinking water will help fill you up so you eat less.  That doesn't work for me, though.  Excuse me, but how does DRINKING a tasteless beverage make me want to EAT less yummy food???  Answer: it does not.  But drinking water does make me drink less of the other stuff that's maybe not as healthy if only for the fact that I can only drink so much in one day.  After all, I do not want to be up all night peeing.  Peeing in the night messes with my sleep!  And I love sleep more than water, coffee and Diet Coke combined!

What about you? Love water? Hate water?

Monday, December 27, 2010

A Redeeming Run

I am super happy to report that I ran today and not only that, I ran outside!! I completed 6.57 miles at an average pace of 11:06 per mile.  Woohoo! 

It was an icy run.  At first I was like a mouse in a maze, running down a road until encountering too much ice and having to turn back and go a different way.  It was a little frustrating.  But then I got out to the main road and it was much, much better.  It was another run where I went out without a plan other than to complete at least 3.1 miles.  And despite the 34 degee temperature it felt so good to be out there.  I felt great and so happy to not be on the treadmill.  It was also the middle of the day; I love vacation!

As for eating today, I stuck strictly to plan.  I predict the scale will go down tomorrow.  As for today, I report a 2.2 pound gain for the week.  Boo!

Simplifying and Minimizing Part 1

As we approach 2011, I have been thinking about the goals I'm setting for the year.  As I mentioned I am keeping things simple and not planning anything specific besides getting to goal and continuing to run.

I truly think our lives are too complicated.  For some, this helps them thrive.  Others get bogged down in the details.  And still others just adapt and go with the flow.  I am one that prefers the simple life.  I like technology, but I don't want it running my life.  I love my iPod and my computer, my iPhone and my Kindle.  I'm glad for things like Blogspot, email, and Facebook.  However, in the vein of simplifying, I'm wondering if it's all necessary. 

Mainly is Facebook necessary?  What do I use it for?  Let's see, I have 127 "friends".  Of those, about 3 are close friends I see regularly, 3 are family, about 35 are from a mommies group I joined when I was pregnant with my son, 12 are coworkers, and the rest are people from high school.  Over half are people from high school that I don't talk to regularly, don't correspond with ever, and wouldn't approach if I saw them in a store.  Yet, I still have them as "friends", still read about their lives and look at pictures of their families.  What for?

So I ask myself, is Facebook really necessary or is it just another time waster?  It's not as if I don't have better things to do.  I have a husband, a son, I love reading, I like blogging, I like emailing with friends.  I even like calling friends, but who has time for that what with all the other complications of life?  ha ha!  Does anyone else think things like email and Facebook enable us introverts to climb further into ourselves and become even more unsociable? 

Anyway, as part of my plans to simplify I have been thinking about dumping Facebook.  It's not as if I spend hours a day on there, but I have spent my fair share of time spying into other people's lives for no important reason.  Course I guess you could argue and say that's what blogging is too, well except for the "no important reason" part. ;-)  From reading blogs I feel like I actually gain something, lots of things, inspiration, motivation, good recipes, food ideas, product recommendations, all kinds of good stuff.  From Facebook I've gained hurt feelings, jealous thoughts, and irritation many times.  Sure, I've been able to keep up on the details of my coworker's baby who at 5 months old is still in the hospital, and I get to see pictures of actual friends and their families that I wouldn't ordinarily get to see, and I've also seen lots of cute videos of children and pets doing funny things.  But I can't figure out if that makes it worth it or not.  I'm actually leaning more towards not.

I'm not really looking for advice or even opinions, although if you want to share your thoughts, feel free.  I'm just voicing my thoughts on some more ideas for changes and improvements in 2011.  I absolutely love a new year!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas Wrap Up

1. I ate too much.

2. I didn't exercise enough.

3. I'll keep moving forward.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas

It's about 10:00 on Christmas Eve and I am ready for bed!  This is the traditional day we have our Christmas celebration and open gifts with my family.  We prefer to be home on Christmas morning so we open gifts with them on Christmas Eve.  And part of the celebration is, of course, food.  So to prepare myself I got my lazy butt up this morning to run at 6:30.  I was so proud to log 5 miles before the eating frenzy would begin. 

I wish I could say I did well with the food temptations, but I indulged in everything from bean dip to chips to carmel corn and pumpkin bread.  All of this for two meals this day, both lunch and dinner.  At one point I actually felt like I'd eaten too much and I hate that feeling.  But, it's just a day and I can move on.  I avoided the candy and cookies so I still consider the day a bit of a success.  We head back over there tomorrow afternoon, but I'm okay with more indulgences.  I feel confident that I'll jump right back on program come Sunday.

Super exciting event of the day, I am now the proud owner of one of these. 

So even though I avoided Christmas baking, I'm pretty sure there will be some New Year treats coming our way! 

Merry Christmas everyone! 

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

To Tea or not to Tea

I have this dream of becoming a tea drinker.  I read about people enjoying their afternoon tea, or tea before bed.  I assume this is all of the herbal variety.  I have bought many different kinds of teas in my life and they all smell wonderful.  The problem is they all taste like ka-ka, or something like that.  Okay, usually it's they don't really taste at all.  I've added Splenda, Equal or even real sugar to the teas, and then they taste like sweetened water.  I've steeped tea longer thinking that was the problem, but still, it doesn't taste very good.

I love warm drinks in the cold winter months.  I drink a lot of coffee, I LOVE coffee and coffee drinks like lattes, but I think less caffeine in my anxious life is probably best.  So I should probably cut out coffee in the afternoon.  Instead, I'd like to drink tea yet I can't find one that I like.  I do like chai tea lattes, but not only do they have caffeine, they also come with milk and sugar which adds extra points.  I'd prefer a warm beverage that adds no points to my day, and I'd really prefer to not add any sweetener at all because Splenda gives me a headache and the unnaturalness of artificial sweeteners is kind of a turn off.  But adding a packet of Sugar in the Raw over a packet of artificial junk, even though it comes with points, is a better option.

So am I doomed to a life without tea?  Or is there a magical tea that I haven't tried that I might love?  So I'm putting it out too all of you, what kind of tea do you drink?  And do you drink it plain, or with sweetener? 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Not Recommended

I tried something new today.  I didn't love it.  I don't recommend it.

I am currently listening to an audiobook.  I have a 35-45 minute commute to work and I am trying to get into the audiobook habit which makes me feel a little old, I must admit.  I found that I can download directly from the library using my iPhone (certain books, limited selections) which makes this practice fairly convenient.  I actually found a book that I am enjoying so tonight when I got home from work, I thought I'd try listening to it during my run.

Bee-oh-are-eye-en-gee, boring. 

After about 10 minutes, I was switching to my current running playlist instead.  But at least I tried it and now I know I need my music to keep me running. 

Speaking of running, it's a Tuesday again, missed Monday.  Oops.  And I have not found my treadmill stride.  I think I bounce too much up and down on the damn thing which makes my legs hurt and makes me feel more impact, if that makes sense.  When I'm outside I'm propelling myself forward, but on the treadmill I seem to be propelling myself up in the air.  I increased the speed a bit today which I think helped some, but I just didn't feel the natural rhythm that comes with a comfortable run. 

I am hoping for some nice weather in the coming days so I can get outside.  I'm on vacation until 1/3 starting this Friday which means I can run midday--perfect time of day, especially if I can get outside!!  Crossing fingers on this.

Speaking of crossing fingers, remember that other thing I was crossing them about?  Yeah, he didn't get selected, not even for an interview.  Stink!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Week Starts on Monday

Hi everyone,

I have decided to change my weigh in day from Tuesday to Monday.  I had planned to change a while ago, but after WW launched their new plan, they weren't allowing changes for a couple weeks.  Today I was able to make the change on their system.

I was scared to weigh this morning based on the week I had, but it all seemed to turn out okay.  See for yourself.

It's funny how even though I logged a gain the prior to weeks, this week's weigh in brings me the message "you're losing too quickly."  A small glitch in the WW online tracking system.  I wonder how many people actually click that link under the question "How do I stop losing too fast?"  I'm pretty sure I never would.

Anyway, I lost what I gained over the past two weeks and another 1.2 pounds making my total loss 81 pounds.  I'll take it!  This gives me extra incentive to really "Toe the Line" all week, right through Christmas.  I logged a loss for Thanksgiving; can I do the same for Christmas?

19 pounds away from my goal now!!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Toeing the Line but I Stubbed my Toe

I had grandiose plans of strictly following my plan this week and getting in all my runs.  The number one goal being to lose the weight I've gained the last two weeks.  I feeling like I started the week off great, but for some reason it's gone to hell the past few days.

All was going well until Thursday when I had Olive Garden for lunch.  I didn't do terribly, but I did eat both the bread sticks and I just didn't need those!  And then after I got home, I ate chips again.  No cheese this time, but chips nonetheless. 

Friday was going along great.  After my terrific run, I ate light and didn't overdo it on anything.  BUT then my husband and I had a date to go Christmas shopping which inevitably involved dinner out and bam! I ate too much.  Chips, salsa, cheese enchiladas, rice and beans!  Seriously, why couldn't I have at least ordered just one enchilada?!  And eaten less chips?!

Yesterday started out okay, but didn't turn out incredibly swell either.  I made lasagna for dinner and didn't go overboard, but I had 4 rolls with it and they all had butter.  Seriously!  Then last night I ate the real popcorn that I love at 11:00 at night!

Today I have plans to do better, and I have plans to run.  I'll let you know how it turns out.  Wish me luck and willpower because I seem to need both these days.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

A Run Outside

I was so excited about my run yesterday I wanted to post right afterwards, but unfortunately I got involved with other activities and didn't get to it.  Some of the "high" has worn off, but I still wanted to post about it because it was really great.  It was my first outdoor run since November 20th!

The day started out lazy as Fridays tend to, but I finally got my arse out of bed.  I drank a bunch of coffee and then decided I would run outside in the sunshine.  The streets have been cleared of snow with the warmer temps so I felt confident that the ice danger would be low.

The sun was magnificent!  I actually felt warm, nothing cold except my nose, but luckily my neck gaitor works beautifully.  I wore two layers on my legs and three on my arms, plus a Bondi Band on my ears, gloves, and the neck gaitor.  It was the first time wearing my ugly new shoes outside and they performed great!  I have been enjoying the shoes and using them for every run.  My leg is not 100%, but it feels quite a bit better.

I was thinking this as I ran (it's kinda corny, but I wanted to share it anyway):

Today is about the run
And getting out to enjoy the sun
While my legs carry me
To the place where I feel free

Aside from the potty break at around 20 minutes, I stayed out for about an hour.  I completed a 5 minute warm up walk and then ran for 5 miles.  It was really awesome to feel the sun and breeze on my face.  There is nothing like it.  I didn't go out with a distance goal, or a pace goal, or any other goal except to run as far and as long as I could without freezing my tookus off.  And it ended up being one of my best runs to date.  Go figure!  I'll have to keep that in mind as I endure the treadmill in the coming days because today the snow came back, and the streets have turned white again.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Slow Morning

Is it spring yet?  Seriously!  I don't want to wish the time away, but I'm ready to get outside and run!  This treadmill business is getting old.  I know I say she's becoming my friend, but sometimes my friends are boring, and she's a snoozer.  I think I need to try turning her away from the wall and towards the TV so I can channel surf or get lost in some sappy Lifetime movie.   What's another grease stain on the carpet if it keeps me running, right?  I probably should get a mat for the thing anyway; carpet fibers are probably embedded in the motor.

This morning I got up to run.  I wasn't planning to based on what time I went to bed, but when I woke up at 5:40 I thought why not.  My plan for the week had been morning runs on Monday through Friday, each 5K.  I missed Monday, ran after work on Tuesday, and I ran before work yesterday.  So today was the third run in a row, but only the second in the morning.  I give you these details as a preface for telling you I did not complete my run today.  I just wasn't feeling it and I was tired.  I completed my 5 minute warmup walk, then it turned into 6 minutes and I turned off the treadmill.  I decided to try a DVD.  That lasted for about 7 minutes and I couldn't get into it either.  I tried finding something to watch on Exercise TV, but the cable receiver wasn't working.  So I decided to go back to the treadmill since by then I felt more awake, but I only ran for 5 minutes, then I walked on an incline for 15, and then I called it a day.

And then I said to myself WTF?!

I have had terrible runs before, but this was different.  This just wasn't a run.  I didn't feel like I could do it today, didn't even want to do it.  It was too early, or I was too tired, or my legs didn't want to run three days in a row, or it was something else, or a combination of those things an more.  I don't know, but I'm moving on.  I'll see how I feel when I get home later tonight and maybe give it another whirl.  Or maybe I'll go to bed early and hope for a better outcome tomorrow.  Regardless, it's just another experience in my running life.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I Shall Hereby be Known as LoriV.

So as not to be confused with Lori, or Lori, or Lori, you know that person who commented on your blog or that other blogger Lori. 

V is the first letter of my last name or it can also stand for Victorious, Verbose, Vivacious, or Va-va-voom!


The Roller Coaster of Emotions has Left the Station

And I am on it.

As I have mentioned, my husband has been without a job for 15 months.  In many ways, this is has been a blessing.  The extra time he's been able to spend at home with our son has enabled me to focus a bit more on myself and make these changes in my health.  We have also not had to worry about childcare during this time which is a huge relief for this working mom, and my son has enjoyed having his dad home with him.  And besides all that, this extra time has also given my husband time in his life for reflection and introspection, as well as created an opportunity from him to finish up his degree.

On the flip side of all that is the lost income and the overall stress of the job search.  We all know this economy is not very good for job seekers (if you don't know, turn on CNN for 5 minutes).  In all this time, my husband has applied for nearly 200 jobs, some have been great opportunities, some have served only as a "contact" for his unemployment log.  None of them have led to employment, but they all provided a free trip on the Emotional Roller Coaster.   Will they call, or won't they?  Should he buy a new suit for the interview, or wear what he has?  Should he wear a tie, or go without.?  Will he get it, or won't he? 

This week the Coaster is climbing hills and making loops because last week he applied for another one of those positions that would be a great opportunity.  The pay is great, the benefits are great, the job description fits his experience, and the organization supports our community.  There have only been a handful of jobs that he's really WANTED and this is one of them; I want it for him too.  Could this be the place where our trip finally ends?  We are crossing our fingers, holding our thumbs, and praying that it is because we are beyond ready to disembark this Emotional Roller Coaster for good.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I Blame the Chips!

I blame them because they couldn't be left alone.  They were screaming out to me:  put cheese on me, nuke me, eat me!  And I didn't refuse like I should have!

That was last night and today's weigh in finds me at 158.4!  I was looking at a loss this week until the chips.  Now I get to post a 1.2 pound gain.  It's not my fault, it was the chips!

I posted yesterday that the only thing harder than the last 20 pounds is the last 10.  I'm not sure if I made that up, or if I read it somewhere, but I believe it with my whole heart.  And it has nothing to do with your body or biology of any kind.  It's all mental.  The games, the tricks, the antics of the mind can be the biggest obstacle.  Isn't this true for most things?

I have lost (almost) 80 pounds.  It's been relatively easy, really.  It has taken motivation and drive, but otherwise it's been fairly simple.  Eat less, move more, yada yada yada.  Now that I'm within 20 pounds of my goal, things like chips calling out are harder to ignore when the mind is saying, "Oh, you can have that, it won't make too much of a difference.  You'll just run a little extra next time."  The problem is when "next time" never comes around. 

I missed my Monday run again!  For that one I have only myself to blame, although I try to blame my schedule.  "But, dearheart", my mind says, "you could have gotten up before work to get it done.  You suck!"  Let the self loathing commence.

Anyway, I'm not off track completely, and I'm not giving up in the slightest, but I know I've still got a long road with this last 5th of my weight loss journey.  Two weeks and two gains could be the recipe for disaster, but mark my words, I'll be a loser next week.  And not just because my mind tells me so.

Do Bloggers Owe You?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I love reading blogs.  First thing in the morning, I check the Reader app on my iPhone to see if any of my favorite bloggers have updated.  I love "hearing" from them and reading about their lives.  I feel invested in them, so to speak.

So when a blogger goes missing without word, or worse, leaves some cryptic message that they'll be absent while they deal with personal stuff, I get a little upset.  How dare they?  Here they've had me riveted to their thoughts for months and now they are leaving me to wonder and worry about what's happening with them.  Why the break?  What personal stuff?

It's probably not any of my business, except that they've made it my business by keeping a blog in the first place and asking me to follow it.  I wonder if I am alone in thinking that more explanation is due at times.

What do you think?  Do bloggers owe their readers in this way?

Monday, December 13, 2010

Goals 2011

I've been having lots of fun thinking about my goals for the future with regard to weight loss, running, and other basic things in my life like budgeting, reading, scrapbooking, and shopping.  Well, I was trying to have fun, then the planning got in the way.  Read on.

The running goal has been foremost in my mind.  I've been thinking about weekly and annual mileage a lot, using a lot of math.  It goes something like this:

Okay, so if I run 15 miles a week for 52 weeks, that's 780 miles for the year.  Well, that's so close to 800 why not round it to 800?  But there's bound to be events, extra runs, and won't I want to run longer in the summer, at least once a week?  Okay, how about a goal of 850 miles for the year.  Okay, what if I want to run 1,000 miles in 2011?  1,000 seems like such a better number, a more impressive number.  So 1,000 miles for the year divided by 52 weeks means 19.23 miles a week.  That's doable isn't?  So at 4 runs a week, that's about 5 miles each time, or what if I increase to 5 runs a week, that's only about 4 miles each time.  And sometimes, especially in the summer, I hope I'll run 6-7 miles on Fridays, so that could back a couple runs back to 3 miles apiece. That's possible, then right?

Um, you see what I'm saying?  A lot of planning, a lot of numbers. 

Then, as I mentioned, I have been thinking whether to plan a half or full marathon for 2011.  Believe me I added in all that training mileage to my calculations too.

Then came the thoughts about my weight loss.  If I'm running more and training for a big distance run, what's that going to do to my eating plan and hunger?  I'm nearing the end of that journey with only 20 pounds to go.  I think the only thing harder than losing the last 20 pounds is losing the last 10.  That's encouraging, right?  Do I really want to be thinking about training for anything big when I still have this other journey to continue? 
After stressing (yes, stressing) about what to plan for the next year, I first remembered that setting goals is supposed to be exciting and fun, and second, I remembered one of my main goals for my life in general:   simplify

In other words, Keep it Simple, Stupid. (K.I.S.S.)

So here are my goals for 2011:

1. Reach my goal weight and learn about maintenance.
2. Keep running.

That's it.  That's what I'm focusing on.  I'm sure there will be running events in 2011, but right now I don't feel like any of them will involve the word "marathon."  I suppose I could change my mind, but with my focus being on reaching my goal weight and maintaining it, finding a fitness level that complements those efforts is best.  I will be happiest to keep running at a level that is both comfortable and fun and right now that doesn't include any specific training schedules.  I am getting to the point of being okay with it, but there's still that niggling feeling of needing that big event to feel good about myself.  I have had conversations with people that have or haven't completed their own distance runs. It always seems to come up, the question of whether I have my own marathon aspirations. Usually I say something like, "I'd like to, but I just don't know if I want to commit to the training, and I don't know if I would really like running that far for that long." Their response is inevitably something like, "You could do it."  And I think yeah, I could do it. Now I should do it, I guess I have to do it to prove that I can. Apparently if I'm a runner, I have to plan that next. In my heart, I guess I know it's not true, but it's that old mentality of never feeling good enough or satisfied with my own efforts. That must stop so I'm also making it one of my goals for the coming year. 

3. Become more satisfied with myself and my efforts.

This one will be harder to measure than the first two, but I'll know it if I've done it.  And if you stick with me, you'll probably know it too.

Thanks for reading!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Honest Scrap Blog Award

Jessica over at See How She Runs passed on the Honest Scrap Blog Award to me.  Thank you.

I now must share 10 honest things about myself and then pass this award onto 4 other bloggers who have shown their honesty through their blogs.  (Note: I have taken a very long time to post about this as it was given to me on Nov. 18.)

1. I have three tattoos, one of which is on my left arm almost up to my shoulder.  I would get this tattoo removed if I had the money.  It's not that I don't like it, I actually still like the actual picture (it's a yin and yang with dolphins), it's just that having a tattoo on my arm is really not me.  I never go sleeveless except in a bathing suit (not often!) so no one ever gets to see the thing anyway.  Oh well, I was young once.  I like tattoos for the most part, when they are small and coverable.

2. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  I currently work as an accountant in a law firm.  I have been in my job, or a variation of it, for 11 years.  I have worked in finance or some capacity of it for 16 years.  I enjoy it and I am completely loyal to my employer.  But, if I knew what I really wanted to do, and felt like spending the time and money finishing my BA degree (I have an AA), I would go for it.  Life is too short to not pursue your passions, if you know what they actually are.  Luckily, I'm happy enough in my job that if I have it until retirement, I'll be okay with it. 

3. I love reading.  I love getting caught up in a great book.  I actually feel bad for people who don't know the joy of reading and I am considering volunteering with an adult literacy program when my son gets older and I have more time.  I would also love to help children with reading.  I believe sharing my passion for reading with others would be an awesome way to "pay it forward".

4. I am afraid of going crazy.  Crazy people don't know they're crazy, right?  I am prone to depression and anxiety and I worry sometimes that I'll not snap out of it, that no amount of medication, therapy or exercise will help me.  How do people get so lost in it that they're driven to harm themselves or others?

5. I secretly wish I was a writer, but I have no skill.  I pretend to know how to form complete sentences on this blog.

6. I have an irrational fear of spiders.  I have had dreams about them.  I don't like seeing them or thinking about them.  And as much as I hate them, I can't kill them.  What if they touched me, or I heard them crunch?  Ick ick ick!  One time, when I was about 16 and visiting my mom in Seattle, a spider the size of a mouse came crawling into the room.  I stood on the chair for an hour until my mom got home to kill it for me.

7. I have an unhealthy addiction to all things Starbucks.  I love the drinks, the cups, the mugs, the bears, the logo, everything.  I have a bear collection, a city mug collection, and many, many of their other regular mugs.  If I told you how much money we spent this year at Starbucks, despite my husband being unemployed, you'd freak.  I'm freaking!

8. I am not sure if I believe in God yet or not.  I am exploring the possibilities and taking a spiritual journey.  I am enjoying what I am learning so far, but I have a lot of childhood baggage to get through.

9. I worry that my son will hate me for only having one child and that he'll grow up lonely.  My husband and I made a choice to have one child for various reasons, some of which I'll probably talk about on this blog someday.  I feel like I have enough with one child, but I still worry that I've made the wrong choice.

10. I have watched Legends of the Fall hundreds of times and I still wish for a different ending every time!

I am passing this blog award onto the following four people:

Ellen at  Fat Girl Wearing Thin (she has a really cute blog theme going on right now so go check it out!)
Stephanie at She's in There Somewhere
Katie at Finding the Thin Within
Lucy at Lucy's Journey

It's the Little Things

This week has been, how shall I say...terrible. 

Let's reflect:

I have logged my lowest mileage in months.

I have eaten over my points on two separate days including today.

I'm aware that it could have been much, much worse, and depending on my weigh in results Tuesday, it still could be. 

I am planning to get right back on track tomorrow and I guess I haven't eaten that much, but I feel sluggish and lazy.  I wish I would have run more, but I'm resting my leg.  That part feels like a good thing, but overall I miss the activity and stress reliever.  And stress?  Yep, I got it.

A major part of my week included being really busy at work and having to decide more about what not to get done than what to get done.  These kinds of work weeks always leave me feeling drained.  I've also been worrying because my husband still hasn't found a job after 15 months of unemployment.  I've been very good for all these months about looking at the positives in the situation, but overall it basically sucks and I'm ready to start saying it.  It sucks, it isn't fair, and it's driving us crazy! Something has gotta come along, doesn't it?!  It's about time for us to get a break!!

My son has been extra mouthy to me too all week, although he's probably just feeding off the stress I'm radiating.  I'm so thankful the weekend is here and I'll have time to reflect and plan and relax.  I'm glad there's nothing on the schedule except church and a soccer game on Sunday.  That means tomorrow will be free for journaling, Christmas cards, organizing, goal planning, scrapbooking, and spending time as a family--getting in a 5K too, of course.

I had planned to post about my 2011 goals this week, but lack of time and motivation deterred my efforts.   I apologize for that, to you and to myself.  I really wanted to put something in writing on this blog.  Oh well, there's always the weekend.

One good thing about my week was a visit to the doctor today for my annual physical.  My doctor congratulated me on losing weight and gave me all expected kind words, but that wasn't the good part.  The good part was that the gown FIT!  It not only closed in the back, even when I sat down, but there was plenty of extra room.  My visit to the doctor's office last year was humiliating and still fresh in my mind when I went in there today.  Last year the gown was too small, the drape seemed more like handkerchief and if that wasn't humiliating enough, the doctor felt the need to let me know that I was too heavy.  I always hate going to the doctor, but I can honestly say today's visit was the best one I've had in a long time.  And all because of a dumb gown. 

It's the little things.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The (Half) Marathon Question

I have been struggling for weeks with the whole (half) marathon bug; do I or don't I?  Don't I have to?  Shouldn't I want to?  If I'm a runner (and my blog name has the word run in it) shouldn't I be scheduling my first half or even full marathon right about now?  As I've been planning my 2011 goals, I've been mulling over these thoughts a lot. And struggling.  Because at the heart of it, I really don't want to plan a half or full marathon.  Gasp!  How can I not want that?  Surely that's what ever runner is supposed to want.

Emily over at The Front Burner posted about this very thing today, and I loved reading what she had to say!!  So much so, I am linking to her post because some of you might enjoy it too, especially if you're like me and feeling the (internal or external) pressure to plan a marathon (or half).  Hop on over to Emily's awesome blog and check it out.  In addition to the post mentioned, you'll find lots of good stuff over there about running, eating, and just plain ol' good living!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Quick Check-In for Tuesday

I like to post my weigh in every Tuesday even if I don't get to brag about a loss.  So here I am to tell you I gained .2 last week!  I really don't know how.  It was my first week on the new WW plan and I did only run three times (13 miles).  I used all my weekly points and all but two of my activity points.  Clearly that is a combination for gaining.  Had my official weigh in been yesterday I could have posted a .4 loss, but as it happens, it's a .2 gain.  I can't beat myself because I didn't go off plan, I can only go forward and plan differently.  I think this week I will avoid using the activity points and see if that that helps.  I'll have to earn the activity points first, of course.  I have not run since Friday!  I do feel guilty about that and I am beating myself up over it, but I still don't think that is why I have a gain for the week.  I do plan to get in some running this week, but I'm trying to rest my knee for a few days.  For that reason, this week could be my lowest mileage yet.  Time will tell.

Like many of you, I'm working on my 2011 goals with regard to diet and exercise.  I've been thinking about mileage goals and distance goals, race goals and speed goals, and of course, weight goals.  Then I decided that I want simple attainable goals.  Nothing lofty or complicated.  I'll be sharing what I come up with later this week.

Re: Julie/Julia project. I'm still thinking about this. I think it would be so super fun, yet I can't come up with anything that interests me yet. I want it to be something unrelated to diet and exercise because I want it to be something more easily controlled, and most of all fun.  Here's some of my ideas:
  • Scrapbooking a certain number of pages in the year
  • Reading Jane Austen's classic books
  • Weekly cooking project
  • Picture a day
 Anyone else planning a project a la Julie/Julia?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Treadmill, Dreadmill, Shredmill: it's the Same Torture Mill

But, it's becoming a very dear friend.

Right now, our part of the country looks like this.

And, therefore, me and the Mill are becoming quite close.  My last run outside was on November 20th.  Since then, I have run my four weekly runs on the treadmill.  Do I love it?  Not so much.  But I feel very fortunate to have the option of just heading down to my basement for a run because I know many people aren't as lucky to have their own treadmill.  I also know that if I had to pack it up and head to a gym I probably wouldn't make it very often, especially when the roads are like this.

Sometimes, like yesterday, it's very hard to even drag myself to the basement.  School was cancelled due to snow which ruined the plans of spending time Christmas shopping for our child.  That meant the need to get up and out early was gone.  Once I finally managed to drag myself out of bed, it was 10:30!  I know, I know.  Then I relocated my lazy self to the couch where I settled in with the computer, TV and coffee.  A true recipe for laziness, but I did have some work to get done, after all, wasn't I justified?

Well, finally I mustered some energy to change into my workout clothes and headed downstairs about 12:30.  I'm proud to say I completed 5 miles on that damn Mill.  I changed things up by plugging my iPod into the stereo so I could go without headphones.   The difference in being completely untethered during the run was awesome.  I still used Nike+, I just set my iPhone on the console and let it keep track of my distance.  It really was a small change, but it ewas enough of one to take away the hum-drums I've been feeling about the Mill.

Unfortunately, I am still having issues with my knee.  This morning when I got up I could barely walk down the stairs.  I cannot even express how discouraging that is.  I'm wondering if I should take some time off from running, but I really don't want to.  I'm actually really scared to.  Scared I'll lose momentum and motivation, and endurance.  It seems like you lose stamina so quickly.  I don't know what to do yet.  For sure I'll be postponing my weekend run until at least tomorrow and then we'll see.

Anyway, today we're decorating our house for Christmas. I absolutely love Christmas, it's my favorite time of year.  I love the festivities, the decorations, and the giving spirit in the air.  It definitely makes dealing with this a little easier!