Thursday, June 17, 2010

The "In Between"

The point of my last post was to point out how I am rewarding myself for losing weight and getting fit!!  I went away thinking that it sounded like a big brag fest, but that was not my intention. I really think it is important to reward yourself, whether it be with a trip, a new outfit, a pedicure, or all of the above!!  I am over half way to my goal and I wanted to celebrate.

As for my new clothes, I did want to share that I bought all size 14 shorts and capris along with size large tops.  This is very exciting for me!  When I started this journey I was wearing size 18 pants that were TIGHT (probably could have worn a 20) and XXL tops.  53 pounds later and I am almost able to wear a size 14.  I say almost because most of them are wearable, but not completely comfortable in the waist.  Depends on the brand, but I figure about 7-10 more pounds and I'll be wearing all 14s.  For tops, I first tried on all Ls but they all seemed snug, so I went back through the store and picked up the XLs.  But those seemed too baggy.  Then I had to go back and get the Ls, try them on again, and it was those I ultimately bought.  It took me forever to decide, but I wanted to be sure.

The 14s still feel a little tight, the Ls still feel a little tight.  But 16th and XLs are too loose.  So I guess I am in between sizes right now which is a little bit frustrating.  Do you know how you feel great when you have clothes that are 1) cute and 2) fit?  Well, 1 out of 2 isn't bad, I guess.  But I'd rather be 2 for 2.  So I will continue my efforts and hope that in another couple weeks or so, all the clothes will feel great!

And since I now have quite a few things in those sizes, I will probably be wearing them until they are very baggy!  I do not plan to go out an purchase a new wardrobe at every size, but I do plan to end up in a size 10 or 8.  This means I might have to bypass the size 12s.  But we will see.  My body is so much different now that I have had a child and stayed heavy for basically 9 years.  The skin is damaged, the muscles are different (or nonexistent).  Exercise will help, but ultimately, I know I will wish I could afford plastic surgery. I really doubt I will want to pay for it or deal with the pain involved, so I will have to deal with what's left of my body once I reach my goal.  As Ruby said once, you wear the scars in the form of extra weight or extra skin or surgery scars.  Once you've been "obese", you'll have scars forever.

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