Rant: I'm so stinking sick of losing then gaining. I want a steady loss. Last week I weighed in at 199.6. Today 201.2. Seriously? If I could look back and say "oh, it was those chips," or "that cheesecake got me," I think I would feel better. But instead I look back and say, "GD, I did everything I was supposed to, stayed within my points range, exercised, and I should have a loss!" Surely I am justified in feeling mad about this today.
And in other irritating news, my leg is hurting today. What? I thought we were done with that.
I completed W8 of the Couch to 5k program yesterday and realized that my speed is too fast for my current body condition. My lungs gave out before my legs again. They say you should run at a pace where you can still comfortably carry on a conversation. Um, if that conversation consists of me going "huff, puff, cough, huff, puff, huh, yes, pain, huff, puff" then I suppose I can. But something tells me I am supposed to be able to actually talk. This means I must decrease my already slooooooow speed even more. Why that upsets me is because even though I ran 28 minutes, I am still over three quarters of a mile short of completing the 5k distance in 30 minutes. This is not the end of the world, but slowing down puts me even further out.
Clearly I need to add muscle to my otherwise flabby person. I know it will help my resting metabolic rate as well as increase my running prowess, and my overall endurance levels. But exercise is so boring, especially strength training. It's so easy for me to quit before I even start, I don't know why. I have my Jillian CD just waiting for me to remove the shrink wrap, but I haven't done it. At this stage I do not have the funds to join a gym and work out with a personal trainer so I have the option of finding info online or watching a video. I think I'll do the video. But when?
My final rant today involves cooking for my picky eater child. Our rule has always been that he can eat what I make or he can go without. But we still make him sit at the table for dinner. One of my favorite things to do is plan the weekly menu and shopping list. I also love cooking. What I don't love is putting a bunch of time and effort into something that turns my son into a whining brat, creates a whole lot of dishes and clean up, and then lasts for less than 15 minutes while my husband I try and enjoy what I've made while my son complains.
This leads me to rethink the whole menu plan. As I said on Sunday, I like to try at least one recipe each week. But why? While cooking might be my hobby, cooking leads to eating, eating leads to weight gain. Perhaps, even though I enjoy it, I should limit my cooking to the essentials. Food preparation can be about sustaining life, not seeing how creative I can be or how decadent the meals are. Eat to live, not live to eat. If I make "regular" meals, recylcing the same recipes, perhaps maybe I won't feel compelled to eat too much. There is a really cute soup restaurant here in town that was sold recently. The original owner commented in an interview that she had lost over 200 lbs on WW (I can attest to this because I used to go to meetings with her), and she said it was just time for her to turn over the reigns because for her, running a restaurant was like an alcoholic running a bar. I wonder if focusing so much time and effort on meal prep and planning sabotages my weight loss efforts, and maintenance efforts. I like to eat what I cook, of course. And also, if I've had a long day and don't feel like spending the time on a complicated meal, we eat out instead. Hmmm, not good for the waistline or the pocketbook sometimes.
I don't know, these are just thoughts running through my head the past few days. Last night I made meatless marinara and served it over whole wheat linguini. Tasty but boring. But also passed the critique of my 8 year old and made dinner a much more enjoyable process. Plenty of leftovers which I won't have to force feed him and peace around us. Luckily for me I made some more Caprese Salad so I can have that tonight instead! And I'll continue thinking about all this.
A friend of mine says she basically serves the same things each week and if they want something different, they go out to dinner. My gosh that sounds easier. And maybe the time I save can be spent on some of my other hobbies like scrapbooking or reading. Or maybe we can even do more family activities in the evening because I won't be stuck in the kitchen. Course if they're my son's ideas maybe I'll whine and complain the whole time and see how he likes it.
Okay, I won't do that, but some times it only seems fair.